Where it began
NYC.
The Diagnosis.
An Out-of-Body Experience.
My love of theatre really led me from a degree in Fashion Design to a degree in Costume Design for Stage and Film.
In my 20’s I attended NYU Tisch School of the Arts I worked in all mediums; stage, film, opera, dance and site specific performance art. Then in my 30’s, along with designing internationally I also began teaching at Fordham University Lincoln Center where my love for the art of design and staying connected to the culture of NYC continued.
I was living my dreams, and also dying from my art.
the designer
The moments, and my response
to them, that have shaped my life.
The body has always been a powerful tool in my experience.
Growing up being classically trained in ballet was my first connection to my body. Auditioning for the New York City Ballet, and not making the cut, was a gift in every way.
This body would never have been able to live that dream fully, but the opportunity was a gift. The combination of sound and movement were powerful. It will be 30 years before I understand the imprint of this.
childhood
The Diagnosis
In the middle of this dream career I began feeling severely tired from burning my candle from both ends, thriving off the pressure of it all while stress internally wreaking internal havoc, and had the most unusual symptoms that didn’t fit into any usual issue. Until my body couldn’t carry it all anymore.
Now the diagnosis was clear, the immune system was in overdrive creating a perfect storm….Hashimotos. I was one of the “lucky ones” who just had to take a pill for the rest of my life. Except that pill made me sicker.
In my late 30’s I had found the love of my life and we wanted a child. It took a year, but with patience, acupuncture and herbal formulas our baby boy was growing inside me and this was the most incredible work of art. I loved pregnancy, honoring my body and this baby became my life. It was at eight and half months pregnant I was offered my first Broadway show, I graciously declined this invitation.
And that decision was the first consciously aligned intuitive decision I can remember. Looking back it was preparing me
for a line in the sand moment.
Matrescence
The birth of my first son was exciting. So much mental and physical preparation had occurred. My labor had only been about 8 hours when I called my good friend and trusted acupuncturist who came over to help support me during labor. Two hours later we were enroute to the hospital and something wasn’t quite right. I began bleeding and the power I was experiencing was supernatural. Pain, fluids, and people all around me in a fast panic.
On the operating table my wrists were strapped in like Jesus and my body was shaking. I rose from my body towards an angelic ring of maternal souls I knew were my lineage. I offered mine for his, then I was sent back to my body and when I woke I was holding my son.
birth
so called
perimenopause
I don’t identify with labels especially labels that create or instigate victimhood. In my 40’s before the internet exploded and became a source for news, medical advice, and fuckery I was raw-dogging my health with books, alternative practitioners, and trial/triumph tactics. Remember that pill that was supposed to solve my autoimmune diagnosis but made me sicker…that led me on a quest in my 30’s to triumph over autoimmune flares and pregnancy to my 40’s and the quest to understand and triumph through the magnitude of hormonal shifts that lead to the portal of menopause.
All this witness to conflict causing me to discover what I now understand to be my gifts.
line in the sand
In my 35 years prior to birth I had used my sacral intuition often in design. Working, reworking over and over until my sacral
said done. On the night I birthed my son, the graduation from sacral to third eye happened. A line had been drawn.
There was life before and life now. Another sense opened and is now guiding me through my life and this world. This sense that was opened will change how I see and orient for the rest of my life.
But it wasn’t until my mid-40’s, a career change, and a medical system that precipitated the very crisis that changed the trajectory of my life.
Menopause is not particularly interesting to me, but who I became from the portal of menopause is. Inside my 50’s I have been moving across the country, burying parents, and stepping into the energy of Matriarch. The woman, the mother, and someday the grandmother all inhabit this human Matriarch. To be true to her is to honor each in their respective amounts.
To get here though requires(d) me to rewrite the wounds into truths. And to accept the wisdom of time, without the human urge to reverse or turn back any clock.
portal of truth
From there, I fully committed to the energy work, not leaving the body behind, but understanding I was no longer meant to lead with protocols.
Women don’t need another thing to fix.
They need to remember how to trust
the wisdom of their own bodies.
The body already knows.
the here and now
The Commitment
Living in Austin, working both in person and virtually (internationally) guiding one to their soul in order to live a soul aligned legacy life. A legacy life is a life that holds the duality of straddling a digital reality with an analog past and certainly acknowledging that it wasn't so long ago that we revered healing as an art form from ancient practices and rituals, and that the womanly art of tending and healing was something we did collectively together.
As I look back so far it all makes sense…
each struggle, choice, triumph and failure all woven creating the texture of my life.
I would change none of it except the knowing that it all works out.
I am one who believes in the brilliance of the human body and the experience of life. Working as a guide is a gift to source and myself daily.